Feel Incredibly HIgh

Feel Incredibly HIgh

West Australian Liberal backbencher, Phil Edman, yesterday called on the WA state government to ban a new product called Liquid Marijuana alleging that it could be a synthetic cannabinoid and contained dangerous chemicals. Police Minister Liza Harvey called it a contraband substance and criticised him for bringing it into Parliament and said that he may have even broken the law by doing this. Edman said he was willing to be arrested over the synthetic cannabinoid plague that was overtaking his Rockingham electorate. Premier Colin Barnett commented that the state was preparing even more laws to ban anything that could be called a psychoactive substance.

Sex Party President, Fiona Patten, said that she could now confirm that the Liquid Marijuana product that Mr Edman had spent so much time denouncing, was in fact, an innocent breath-freshener with no psychotropic effects whatsoever. “If Mr Edman, the Police Minister or the Premier had bothered to read the packaging, they would have found out that the claim that it makes you ‘high’ only comes about after you do a headstand and then spin around on the spot following use of the breath freshener”, she said. “Mr Edman has created an unjustified fear in the public over this product and used it to further his political campaign of being tough on drugs”.

She said that if Mr Edman had read the packaging he would also have learned that: “This product contains absolutely no real marijuana or any other mind altering substance. If you believed our preposterous claims, you must be already stoned. Or else incredibly optimistic. If you are unemployed, visit your local employment office. A unicorn training centre maybe hiring new riders.”

She said it was simply unbelievable that an educated man like Mr Edman, who had managed to make his way into parliament, could possibly have believed that the product was dangerous. “Politicians are stooping to new lows in their war on drugs and half the claims they make about synthetic cannabinoids are simply untrue”, she said. “Mr Barnett’s new laws are being framed in such a way that they will actually ban novelty goods like the ‘Liquid Marijuana’ breath freshener that claims to get you high after doing a headstand and spinning around on the spot.

Ms Patten said that in Queensland, selling the ‘Liquid Marijuana’ with the advice on the packet about ‘how to get high’, would constitute a serious drug offence punishable by years in jail. “Australia’s drug laws are fast becoming a joke and almost unworkable because of the scope of products and behaviours they are trying to encompass”, she said. “Even obvious humour and satire – and possibly unicorns”.