How good would the world be if everyone was having great sex?
If we all had equal permission to enjoy our bodies, equal powers to negotiate pleasure and equal privileges of leisure time and energy, we would be much more likely to want to have great sex. Australian men masturbate, enjoy healthy libidos and have many more orgasms than women. Our social systems, wedded to the boy-meets-girl romantic rhetoric and the slut-shaming of women, grant more sexual power to men. Equal rights to sexual pleasure are vital to progress gender equality.
Sexual inequality is an unaddressed factor of gender inequality. Gender inequality negatively affects everyone. It’s more than a human rights issue; it affects the way we live our lives.
Each year the World Economic Forum measures gender equality across four dimensions: Education, economic opportunities, health and political leadership. In ‘traditional’ families, men were expected to learn more, earn more and govern over the family and State. In this century, we expect to be equal in those domains. The consequences of inequality for Australian individuals manifest in intimate partner violence, unfair divisions of domestic labour, and who gets to fuck who, how and why.
As a doctor of sex, a suburban granny and an unrepentant whore (just try to say that like a slur) I say, ‘Sex is good for us’! I’m a slut and I profit from my sexuality: Financially, intellectually, emotionally and physically. In fact, when measured against the four dimensions of gender parity, my sex work has improved them all. But my experience of stigma as a sex worker has shown me that even in Australia sexual women are kept below par in those dimensions:
Money
Our sex and gender roles influence our capacity to earn. I’ve been poorly paid in childcare and nursing, and handsomely renumerated in sex work.
Education
My sex work funded two Masters degrees and a PhD. Yet, my experience of sex work was hidden for safety and reputational fears. Slut shaming is rife at all levels of education and schools still encourage modesty for girls. Erasure of women’s sexual experience reduces power to negotiate. Sluts have more power.
Health
‘No hate in health’ has become a mantra for health care workers who vow to practise inclusivity. But 91% of sex workers experienced negative treatment by health care workers in a 2022 report from the Centre for Social Research in Health, UNSW. And 46% of health workers admitted they would behave negatively towards sex workers. I’ve experienced discrimination as a sex worker patient even after a decade of service as a nurse.
Politics and power
Much has been written about the number of dicks in positions of power and the confidence felt by ‘mediocre straight white men’. My research about women buying sexual services has shown me that sexual confidence supports our egos. Millions of orgasms have fuelled my bold journey.
If slut-shaming was her/his-story, all genders could enjoy masturbation, healthy libidos and injections of orgasmic confidence, and sexual equality would finally be realised. Only then, will we have a real chance at gender parity.
